black symphony

back from bali, cold and missing so many elements in life that was once before.
woke up this morning, dropped sniffles off and drove to the closest coffee spot for the daily dose of americano with an extra shot. met an old friend from actor's studio, who surprisingly remembered my name and shamefully i forgot her's. dope! out of the blue she says she can't believe my name is my name which isn't exactly my fullname. a nickname. so i told her my first name and she was like *gasp* "really?? all the while i thought it was sholana..."

sigh... not only did that NOT make my day, i walked into one of the bookstores after the coffee to checkout some references for my current writing and this person standing next to me was singing 'the shape of my heart' (yeah! that song by the backstreet boys) out loud... karoake room is just around the corner dude! totally uncool for the bookstore to play that sort of music at that time of the morning.

horrifying and to top it off, i nearly lost control of the brakes to the car today...

elections are coming up and i have not registered... i don't see why i have to but perhaps to save the sanity of malaysiaku gemilang, i will. for the sake of it although i know it ain't gonna change a thing. driving around today to no apparent destination (yes, one of my many favourite things to do) it's sad to think that malaysiaku gemilang does not have a voice and that we the young generation that we are, do not have the courage to fight. our status as a democratic country is redundant and surprisingly, we are aware of it. we are automatically sedated by the brainwash of newspapers and national television. thank god for astro. a lot of us are fleeing away from malaysiaku gemilang and when articles are written about what malaysiaku gemilang mean to us, i have read nothing that is concrete enough for me to be proud of.

we are afraid to claim the rights to our own civilizations and traditions just because it's not muslim enough or just plain not good enough because it is borrowed. and we claim that we are no more of a third world country but if you take into account of those in kelantan and terrenganu and the harsh reality of traffic jams after 6pm every evening, developed isn't the right terminology. forget the skyscrappers and shopping malls. our reading community is close to 0%... and i'm not surprised if suddenly i'm not able to blog anymore. policing is what you are good at together with keeping us locked and repressed.

on a lighter note, i bought some CDs at an awesome price... yup, malaysiaku gemilang!!

*craving for foo fighters live!!!